#DeepVibrations with Candis
By: Candis L. Welch
Crumbled and Folded upon the floor
Arms draped across the broken floorboards
Desperation ravishes my body, leaving marks of destruction along the my soul, as disaster creeps through my veins revealing only a distorted shell of the woman who’s body is no longer her possession.
This poisonous body no longer feeds for life but of the sweet illusion of lies and smiles that broke her spirit. Legs that no longer move with ease and grace, legs that would spring forth in delight are now drugged, cracked and move only for the wrenching yearn of devilish memories and hazy truths.
You promised it would be good, never-ending greatness. The greatness is what I LIVED for. I craved, starved for that greatness. You watched me light the match to what use to be my greatness. I sold my sanity and serenity for 5 minutes of greatness that captivated my senses and catapulted me into seven years of addiction.
Rehab…. Relapse… How can I recover? How can I be Sober? When the mention of your name is my demise. You arrive and I die of the great haze that rape’s my veins of a life that aches for you.
No compass can redirect my sight; no map can find the woman I use to host… for I am lost in your greatness. Hopelessly staggering, strung out, you are my greatest joy and greatest mistake. In my despair, I can only dream of the day when I can stand tall, clear and happy, no longer chained to the poison you possess, the illusions you sell and unmanageable seduction over my body.
Sobriety… Sobriety… Sobriety… I chant, breathlessly I chant. Naked… my soul lies upon the floor. I am afraid for me… as the floorboard creaks and my heart stops at the familiarity of your heaviness approaching me…
The greatness arrives and my eyes smile as the haze of our illusion appears and my reality fades.